funny thoughts...

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?

Do sore thumbs really stick out?

Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house?

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

What’s the opposite of opposite?

If Practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?

Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when your toe nails are smaller than your finger nails?

Is the opposite of “out of whack” “in whack”

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

On the periodic table, why do some elements have symbols with letters that aren’t even in the word?

Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

Why do they call it “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” when they know the answer is going to be everyone?

Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?

If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn’t an exterminator be the opposite?

How many people do you need to consider it a mass suicide/murder?

If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, “Everybody get down”, would all the people start dancing?

Why is a woman in a suit a “business person” but a man in a dress is a “transvestite”?

When pigs fart, does it smell like bacon?

Was Dawson Named After The Creek or Was The Creek Named After Dawson?

Could a tanning bed kill a vampire? If not would they get a tan?

How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?

IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?
If you cut off a glowworm’s tail would it be delighted?
How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
If you say something is indescribable, isn’t that describing it?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
Can you sleep forever without being in coma?
Why is it called butterfingers when there is no butter or fingers in it?
If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?
How come it was called the Cosby Show when Billy Cosby’s character was named Heathcliff Huxtible?
If a Truck is loaded with Helium, would it weigh less than when it was empty? Wouldn’t it get better fuel mileage?
Why is the blackboard green?
Why do they call it a black light when it’s really purple?
Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
What do you call male ballerinas?
How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first?
Why are pennies bigger than dimes?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
If Pringles are “so good that once you pop, you can’t stop” why do they come with a resealable lid?
Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Can blind people see their dreams?
If there’s an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?
If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn’t they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren’t we all masochist?
why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
If when people freak out they are said to be “having a cow”, when cows freak out are they said to be “having a person?”
Aren’t you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don’t know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn’t it be leaving a dump?
What if the hokey-pokey really is what it’s all about?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?
What’s the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
how can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?
How can you hear yourself think?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

How does Santa get into a house that doesn’t have a chimney?
If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to?
If you’re in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
why are turds pinched off at the end?
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
What would you use to dilute water?
What should one call a male ladybird?
How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Aren’t all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?
If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember
that they forgot?
If you died with braces on would they take them off?
Why do mattresses have designs on them when they’re always covered with sheets?
Why do they call them “apartments” when they are all stuck together?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why do ‘tug’boats push their barges?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we have hot water heaters?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we sing ‘Take me out to the ball game’, when we are already there?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
Why does an alarm clock “go off” when it begins ringing?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?
Why don’t you ever hear about gruntled employees?
Why don’t you ever see baby pigeons?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is a women’s prison called a penal colony?
Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?
Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?
Why is it called ‘after dark’, when it is really after light?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open it’s not adoor?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
Is it because of that song?
Why is the word “abbreviate” so long?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
What is another word for “thesaurus”?
What is the speed of dark?
What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on?
What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
What’s another word for synonym?
When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done wiping their butt?
When people lose weight, where does it go?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
When you’re sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why are there never any artist’s materials in a drawing room?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

same mistakes again and again

In Mythological stories, it was the demons who would do penence and ask a boon of the gods. However there would be catch to it and that would lead to the killing of the demon. Similarly, our recent ex-CM changed his spelling to become CM and he did become; however, he forgot to ask for how long the would be CM! Poor guy.

It was quite interesting to hear him rattle on in an interview on uplifing villagers, lower castes...blah blah blah. I would really have liked to hear him say, "I will improve the roads all over the state, which is in a sorry state! I will clean up the cities and make it cleaner and more streamlined for growth! I will make k'nataka the first state to get ride of caste bias and try and make us one strong united lot!" Nope, unfortunately, we Indians hate each other so much, we will always be expoited by others. This is just my opinion looking at the entire population as a whole rather than just a few educated individuals.